Ad meliora. Toward better things.

    I decided to go back home last month and take the exam in Zamboanga. I informed my family and they immediately booked me a connecting flight from Dumaguete to Manila and Manila to Zamboanga. It was a very sudden decision. It was time to leave my comfort zone, and I just had to do it. I have to let myself grow again in another place. It was very hard at first, to leave the place that you have already called home. As I packed my belongings days before my flight, I can’t stop but be emotional. I got on my flight to Manila late afternoon and arrived there in the evening. I checked in at a hotel in NAIA. I had to stay there overnight because my next flight was the day after that.

    The aircraft that I was on board departed at 1 PM from Manila and arrived at around 3:20 PM, but it took another 30 minutes for me to leave the airport, apparently, there was a problem, the passengers from the flight before us were still inside the compact arrival area of the Zamboanga City International Airport, we waited around 10 to 15 minutes outside before we were allowed to enter. A huge crowd was forming and social distancing was not observed among the other passengers.  I waited another 15 minutes before I got my luggage in the conveyor belt. My friends, Charlie and Lorenz were already waiting for me outside. I saw them standing at the other side of the road, all three of us were wearing white, a coincidence that we chuckled at as we proceeded to transport all of my bags to where I was going to stay. 

    The bustling sound of the metro welcomed me as I set foot in Zamboanga City. It was a cloudy Wednesday afternoon. I looked up at the sky and saw heavy clouds forming, it was going to rain anytime. The traffic here is better than in Manila but still worse than Dumaguete. Well, I can’t really compare the two cities, since Dumaguete City is a very small university town while Zamboanga is more urbanized and populated. But because I have spent the last seven years living in Duma (a nickname for Dumaguete City) I can’t stop myself from comparing the two.

    As I am writing this, the clock has hit 12:00 AM and it’s already October 19. Thirteen days have passed since I got here, and it has been thirteen days of reviewing and refreshing my knowledge for the upcoming board exam. Last weekend, I had a fever which I had to endure because I can’t afford to have any delays in my life right now. And I am honestly scared of the outcome of the exam next month. I’ve been more anxious than I was last month, and I have been more scared than I was when my ex-girlfriend and I broke up back in August. “I have to pass this exam, I have to prove something to myself.”, I kept on repeating these words as I constantly pulled all-nighters and filled my system with caffeine.

    I’ve been reviewing all by myself ever since the review and refresher classes started, most of my batchmates didn’t push through with the idea of attending an online review class, while some of them enrolled at another review center. Some batchmates who were enrolled in the same review center as I did, decided that they won’t be taking the November 2021 schedule and have opted to take the exam in May 2022. They told me that they weren’t ready yet. The pandemic has greatly affected a lot of our decisions in life, and it has become more challenging for students who are now suffering from the stress and anxiety that the online platform has given to them.

    I'm not sure if my five months of preparation will be enough; there's a noticeable difference between reviewing online and reviewing in person, where you can actually interact personally with your classmates and teachers. And if that would be enough, I would consider it a success for being able to move forward despite the pandemic's hurdles. I want to go back to Dumaguete as a registered Civil Engineer. I want to be able to celebrate my success together with those who have contributed to my personal and professional growth. And I want to go back home to Bongao, as someone that my family can be proud of.